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Funny Birthday Poems

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Great funny birthday poems don't just make birthday boys and girls laugh — they also leave them with a BIG smile that can last all day. Take a look below — you'll find lots of BIG laughs and smiles here.

Message Guy Tip #74:
How to select funny birthday poems...

Funny birthday messages, like birthday wishes, birthday quotes, birthday poems and birthday toasts, are only funny if they make the ones you love laugh at themselves in a certain way. What way? Read more ►

Happy birthday to you.
You live in a zoo.
You look like a monkey.
And you smell like one too.

Even though this message comes to you a little late, the wish it brings for happiness is good on any date.
Happy belated birthday.

I picked it myself, the choice was clear.
Once you see it, I’m expecting a cheer!
I know you will need them, on your many adventures.
Inside the box is a new set of dentures!
Happy birthday, old fart!

Today is your birthday.
Don’t pull your hair.
Look in the mirror — nature was fair.
Not a day over twenty.
I’m kidding! You’re plenty.

Don’t mean to burst your bubble, but stop asking for trouble.
You know what I mean, when you drink that caffeine.

What should I bring?
Just give me a ring.
Elephant or clown?
I knew you would frown.

Still seeking the perfect poem?
Find more funny birthday poems below

Today I turned fifty.
I feel really good.
My body’s still working quite well, thanks. (Touch wood).
My hair’s not too grey, my wrinkles are few, I can still touch my toes with my knuckles. (Can you?)
I’m quite full of vigour, just getting ripe. (But they now print the phone book in much smaller type.)
My hearing’s still good.
What’s that you say?
Speak clearly, don’t mumble, your voice wafts away.
Inside this old body I’m still young, but then if life starts at forty, I’m really just ten.

Just because you're 50, don't despair, oh no.
Overnight, you won't discover you've lost your get up and go.
Nor will you become all wrinkled, nor ache from head to toe.
So even though you're ripening, don't regard it as a blow, you won't suddenly look decrepit....
...because that happened long ago!

A birthday belated, I know you have waited.
Has it been another year?
My apologies are sincere.
When I realized I forgot, my old stomach formed a knot.
Our adventures came to mind, and your deeds that are so kind.
Hope you had the greatest time, entertained by a funny mime.
A belated birthday wish with the most delicious dish.

God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

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