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Funny Birthday Wishes


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The best funny birthday wishes can make any birthday girl or boy gladly laugh at themselves — exactly the kind of funny birthday messages you’ll find here.

Message Guy Tip #38

One of the best times to make people laugh at themselves is their birthday. Any age is fodder for humor. Birthday greetings, with a simple joke or witty turn of phrase, are enough to amuse anyone.

Whatever you pick, make sure it isn't offensive to the recipient. Laughter is a gift, not a veiled way to insult someone special. After all, this message is for somebody's birthday, someone's special day!
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Happy birthday. Don't be sad you're a year older. Keep your chin up…if you can! Well, you know what I mean.

If anyone calls you old, hit them with your cane and throw your teeth at them! Happy birthday!

Happy birthday. At our age, the only way to look younger is to add at least a decade to your age.

Happy birthday. At your age, you should really go BIG…starting with BIG print.

Happy birthday! At our age, I don’t know why people expect us to remember their birthdays. On a good day, we’re lucky if we even remember where our car keys are! 

Happy birthday! Considering all the candles on your cake, I hope you remembered to top up your fire insurance.

Funny Birthday Wishes - Funny Birthday Messages

Message Guy Pick

This is, to me, one of the funniest messages on the site. Here's why... Read more ►

Happy birthday. I guess we've reached the age when every compliment we get is usually followed by “for your age.”

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Happy birthday. Stop counting your candles and start counting your blessings. You still have hair on your head, not in your ears and nose! 

You know how most people, on your birthday, tell you, “My goodness, you never seem to age.” Well, I’m not one of them. Happy birthday, old fart!

Yes, you’re getting older and wrinklier every day, but it could be worse…you could still have an acne problem! Happy birthday!



Top of Funny Birthday Wishes



They say that with age comes wisdom. I’m not so sure…I've met a lot of really stupid old people. So far, you’re not one of them. Happy birthday.

Whoever said that time waits for no man, but stands still for a woman of 30, is an idiot. No woman in her right mind would admit to turning 30. Happy 29th birthday!

Time may heal all wounds, but it leaves you with an unhealthy glow, saggy skin and crow’s feet. Happy birthday (it's better than the alternative)!


Personalized Birthday Wishes - Milestone Birthday Messages

Happy birthday! 
Another year, another reason to curse the inventor of the first modern mirror. 

Sure, getting older is like a slow death (pun intended), but better slow than fast, I always say! Happy birthday!

You are only young and reckless once, but you can be reckless well into your hip-breaking days. Happy birthday.


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